They say lightening doesn't strike twice in the same place, but I beg to differ.During this pregnancy, my OB Dr. Anderson decided that I also needed a perinatal specialist to keep an eye on me this time after having a stillborn baby two years ago. At first this freaked me out, but she assured me it was just a precaution as they didn't really expect any complications with this pregnancy. Creason died because of a cord accident. The likelihood of that happening again was slim to none. So, once I digested the fact that I was going to have to see a perinatal specialist this time around not just because I wanted to find out the sex of my baby early (as we had with Keller and Creason. Dr. Mirable is good at what he does!), I actually became okay with the idea. I was basically going to be having doctor's check-ups every two weeks, which meant more ultrasounds, more pics of baby and more peace of mind! Our official due date was Dec. 13, 2014. 12/13/14. How cool is that? The fact that this baby's birthday and Keller's birthday were only two days apart? Oh boy!
In the last few weeks of June, into the beginning of July my morning/all day long sickness had really improved. I was starting to be able to eat again and hold things down and was taking Zofran less and less to fight the constant nausea. Also, Baby Tunip was starting to move.....A LOT....She(?) hopefully will be a gymnast and go to the Olympics. Haha! Seriously though, this kid never stops moving! It's great reassurance though, so she can kick me all she wants because I know she is still alive.
The morning of July 14, I woke up not feeling well at all. My nausea was back full force, I was shakey, felt like I had anxiety, and just generally did not feel well. At the time I didn't think anything of it. I remember before I went to bed Sunday night before I had a whole bag of Swedish fish, some fruity pebbles, and something else sugary. I woke up Monday morning just knowing I was having a horrible low blood sugar attack. I tried to eat small amounts of protein and made it through the day. By the evening I felt a bit better than earlier in the day, but still not great. However, tomorrow was our 18 week appointment with Dr. Mirable, our Perinatal Specialist. It was also the day he was going to confirm whether we were having a boy or girl [at our 13 week check up, he was pretty sure it was a girl].
Tuesday morning I woke up with even more anxiety. I seriously could not explain what was going on. I was shaky, nauseous, and when we checked in with the doctor my blood pressure and heart rate were both up. We got into the exam room. This was it, we were going to find out if Baby Tunip need a bow or a bat. Keller was with us this time and I think he was more excited than Jed or I. He couldn't wait to find out if he was going to have a brother or a sister. The ultrasound tech came in, put goo on my belly, and got to work. She moved the wand around and around, but after a couple minutes there was still no heartbeat to be heard. She turned the volume up and searched for another couple minutes. She really pushed on my belly to try to get Baby to move, but she just lay there sleeping. I wouldn't even look at the screen. I just laid there with my eyes closed. The only thing she said was, "I am goint to get Dr. Mirable". I remember Jed asking what does that mean? And she just replied, "I'm so sorry." At that point in time, my world fell apart around me. I let out a gigantic sob, but remembered our 5-year-old was in the room with us and he didn't understand what was going on. He just saw the baby in the picture on the screen and was so happy. I quickly pulled myself together and told Jed to get Keller out fo the room, to call his dad to come get Keller while we waited on the doctor.
Keller was gone and I fell apart, in that exam room, all by myself. This couldn't be happening again. We couldn't be losing another baby halfway through the pregnancy AGAIN. Jed came back once Keller was gone and we cried together. We didn't need the doctor to tell us what our hearts knew. We now had 2 angels in Heaven and one perfect little boy here to hold in our arms. Dr. Mirable took the wand and did an ultrasound himself before confirming the news. The baby was indeed a little girl but she was no longer alive. Based on her measurements, the doctor said she died three weeks prior. I told him that just wasn't possible because Jed and Keller had just felt her move for the first time on Sunday (and it freaked Keller out!), and I had an ultrasound at 16 weeks in ER (for dehydration) that showed she was alive and well. Dr. Mirable conceded he could be wrong but was just going off of what he saw. He offered us his condolences and sent us to the hospital so that I could be induced to have this baby. I won't go into all the awful hospital details....
We hadn't event had time to pick out a name. With Creason we had an idea of what we wanted, it was between two names. With this baby, we had no clue. I had been leaning toward the more old-fashioned route and for some reason the name Nora was really stuck in my head. So when she was born at 2:36 a.m. after 10 hours of labor (I guess you call it that?) she was called Nora Lynn (Lynn after both of our mothers).
Dr. Mirable ordered all kinds of bloodwork done on me and tested me for everything that you could be tested for. An autopsy and genetic testing were performed on Nora, only to find out that she was perfect. She was small for her gestational age, and doctor was correct in assuming she died at 15 weeks because that is how small she was . Only she die at 15 weeks. Autopsy proved that and due to the amount of amniotic fluid. The best guess was the last 24 hours. So when I was feeling bad on Monday? Yep, that was my baby dying. That has been a hard pill to swallow. Could anything different have been done if I had called the doctor on Monday when I was feeling so bad? Probably not, but I will always wonder....
All of my bloodwork came back and showed that I have high homocysteine levels which means I form blood clots when I am pregnant. Nora most likely died from a blood clot in the umbilical cord, and now the doctors think that could also be the culprit in Creason's death also. I can't have any more children because to do so would be a huge risk to not only the baby but also to me. The fact that Keller is here and perfect is a miracle, and I thank God every day for the gift of my son. Those two angel babies will forever be in our hearts until the day we see them again.
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