The year has flown by already. I can't believe it is mid-June already. Where does the time go. Unfortunately for me, the spring was just as busy as the fall was as far as work goes which left me with no time for blogging. My theatre kids had competitions every weekend in January and February and rehearsals during the week, alongwith an end of the year performance to get ready for. School didn't leave me much time to have any fun nd when I did have fun with Keller, I never had my camera present. Not too mention 2012 has been a rough year for the Cole family. In January my Nene died very unexpectedly, followed by my great-Uncle nine days later.
It seems some sort of happiness always follows tragedy though and in February we found out we were expecting again! Keller was very excited to be a big brother. Most of February, March, and the beginning of April disappeared while I became best friends with every bathroom within my vicinity. (Somedays I thought I should have just moved by bed in there. )Yes, I had to pee a lot, but I also had "morning" sickness so bad; somedays it hung around all day. It was lovely---NOT. So, add throwing up and being exhausted to working 60-70 hours a week and my blogging suffered big time. Everyone told me being so sick was good news. A) baby was healthy and growing and B) it was probably a girl! (I was not really sick with Keller). Luckily, I got to have an ultrasound at 12 weeks 5 days and we found out we were indeed having a little girl! I was over the moon! Jed was happy too, but he didn't care what the sex was as long as the baby was healthy, and she was perfect! Keller was very excited to learn that he was going to have a baby sister. He is very into babies right now and always wants to hold one when he sees them!
The spring continued to fly by and I got bigger and bigger, even having to wear maternity clothes at the end of my first trimester! When I was pregnant with Keller, I was almost 6 months pregnant before I had to bust out maternity gear! We tossed around ideas for names, and naturally we couldn't agree on anything. We both kind of liked Haley and were tossing it around on our short list unless we found something else. I had already decided that her nursery theme was going to be owls since she would be a Chi O legacy and Pottery Barn kids has the cutest owl themed nursery bedding!
In March we started paper work on a new house! Having a family of four now meant we needed more space than our two-bedroom, 1500 sq foot home.After much looking and going back and forth, we decided to build a new house, that way we could (I could, ehehehe) have everything in it that I wanted, and so we signed paperwork and plans are currently underway! We are scheduled to close on Sept. 15. Fingers crossed! Uncle Tanner and Aunt Jessica got married on March 3.(more on that in the next post).
April came very quickly and with it lots of excitement. The "morning" sickness finally started ebbing off and I started to feel pretty good. Monthly check up was perfect. Two of my student's won the Oklahoma 5A State Drama Championship in Dramatic Duet! We also had a tornado in Norman almost hit the OU campus and we had to reschedule prom because of severe weather (first time that has ever happened at Noble!)
Then May came. On Monday night, May 7 we were sitting at the dinner table after dinner and were tossing around names because I had decided I just didn't like Haley. Jed mentioned the name Creason (it as his Mama Lou's maiden name), it was different and as much as I didn't want to do the alliteration thing AGAIN ...I did like it...
On May 8, I went to my OB for my routine monthly check up. Only it was not to be routine. The nurses could not find baby's heart beat. They looked and looked for about 20 minutes,then they got Dr. Anderson to come in and she did an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed no movement and no heartbeat. Our baby had died. I was five months pregnant.
How could this happen? I was halfway there. What happened? What was wrong? What had I done or not done?
I was sent to the hospital to Labor and Delivery where they induced me about at 10 o'clock that evening. Sometime during the night, Jed and I were discussing names again and Creason just worked. So when she was born, Creason Rae Cole would be put on her death certificate. I'll skip the rest of the gory details...
Creason was born and died on May 9, 2012 at 8:40 am. She was perfect. 10 tiny little fingers, 10 tiny little toes, 2 little ears and the cutest, tinest, most perfect little face and lips (Keller's mouth. The Summers' mouth. Strong genes on my dad's side, that's for sure). As devasted as I was, I was in awe over how perfectly formed she was; she had finger and toe nails, the beginnings of little eye brows, even fingerprints and footprints...she was a perfect baby, just very very tiny at half a pound and 6.5 inches long.
What brought some comfort in this horrible time of tragedy was learning that her death was nothing I did wrong nor was it something I could have prevented. As soon as she was born, Dr. Anderson knew what was wrong. Somehow Creason had moved around so much ( I had just recently started feeling her move and she would really move!) and in some way she had actually partially detached her umbilical cord from her belly button. She was getting no oxygen and no nutrients. It was a freak accident, one of those 1 in 1 million things...in a small way, it helped to know what the cause was and that it is probably something that would never happen again.
I don't yet know if any more children are in our future. I don't want Keller to be an only child, but I don't know if I want to the mental anxiety I'll have (and I know I will), worrying the whole nine months if everything is okay.
Our baby girl is alive and well somewhere out there in whatever afterlife exists surrounded by her grandparents who have passed and hopefully we will see her again someday.
WE love you Creason Rae.
It seems some sort of happiness always follows tragedy though and in February we found out we were expecting again! Keller was very excited to be a big brother. Most of February, March, and the beginning of April disappeared while I became best friends with every bathroom within my vicinity. (Somedays I thought I should have just moved by bed in there. )Yes, I had to pee a lot, but I also had "morning" sickness so bad; somedays it hung around all day. It was lovely---NOT. So, add throwing up and being exhausted to working 60-70 hours a week and my blogging suffered big time. Everyone told me being so sick was good news. A) baby was healthy and growing and B) it was probably a girl! (I was not really sick with Keller). Luckily, I got to have an ultrasound at 12 weeks 5 days and we found out we were indeed having a little girl! I was over the moon! Jed was happy too, but he didn't care what the sex was as long as the baby was healthy, and she was perfect! Keller was very excited to learn that he was going to have a baby sister. He is very into babies right now and always wants to hold one when he sees them!
The spring continued to fly by and I got bigger and bigger, even having to wear maternity clothes at the end of my first trimester! When I was pregnant with Keller, I was almost 6 months pregnant before I had to bust out maternity gear! We tossed around ideas for names, and naturally we couldn't agree on anything. We both kind of liked Haley and were tossing it around on our short list unless we found something else. I had already decided that her nursery theme was going to be owls since she would be a Chi O legacy and Pottery Barn kids has the cutest owl themed nursery bedding!
In March we started paper work on a new house! Having a family of four now meant we needed more space than our two-bedroom, 1500 sq foot home.After much looking and going back and forth, we decided to build a new house, that way we could (I could, ehehehe) have everything in it that I wanted, and so we signed paperwork and plans are currently underway! We are scheduled to close on Sept. 15. Fingers crossed! Uncle Tanner and Aunt Jessica got married on March 3.(more on that in the next post).
April came very quickly and with it lots of excitement. The "morning" sickness finally started ebbing off and I started to feel pretty good. Monthly check up was perfect. Two of my student's won the Oklahoma 5A State Drama Championship in Dramatic Duet! We also had a tornado in Norman almost hit the OU campus and we had to reschedule prom because of severe weather (first time that has ever happened at Noble!)
Then May came. On Monday night, May 7 we were sitting at the dinner table after dinner and were tossing around names because I had decided I just didn't like Haley. Jed mentioned the name Creason (it as his Mama Lou's maiden name), it was different and as much as I didn't want to do the alliteration thing AGAIN ...I did like it...
On May 8, I went to my OB for my routine monthly check up. Only it was not to be routine. The nurses could not find baby's heart beat. They looked and looked for about 20 minutes,then they got Dr. Anderson to come in and she did an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed no movement and no heartbeat. Our baby had died. I was five months pregnant.
How could this happen? I was halfway there. What happened? What was wrong? What had I done or not done?
I was sent to the hospital to Labor and Delivery where they induced me about at 10 o'clock that evening. Sometime during the night, Jed and I were discussing names again and Creason just worked. So when she was born, Creason Rae Cole would be put on her death certificate. I'll skip the rest of the gory details...
Creason was born and died on May 9, 2012 at 8:40 am. She was perfect. 10 tiny little fingers, 10 tiny little toes, 2 little ears and the cutest, tinest, most perfect little face and lips (Keller's mouth. The Summers' mouth. Strong genes on my dad's side, that's for sure). As devasted as I was, I was in awe over how perfectly formed she was; she had finger and toe nails, the beginnings of little eye brows, even fingerprints and footprints...she was a perfect baby, just very very tiny at half a pound and 6.5 inches long.
What brought some comfort in this horrible time of tragedy was learning that her death was nothing I did wrong nor was it something I could have prevented. As soon as she was born, Dr. Anderson knew what was wrong. Somehow Creason had moved around so much ( I had just recently started feeling her move and she would really move!) and in some way she had actually partially detached her umbilical cord from her belly button. She was getting no oxygen and no nutrients. It was a freak accident, one of those 1 in 1 million things...in a small way, it helped to know what the cause was and that it is probably something that would never happen again.
I don't yet know if any more children are in our future. I don't want Keller to be an only child, but I don't know if I want to the mental anxiety I'll have (and I know I will), worrying the whole nine months if everything is okay.
Our baby girl is alive and well somewhere out there in whatever afterlife exists surrounded by her grandparents who have passed and hopefully we will see her again someday.
WE love you Creason Rae.
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